Who cares about that, let's just go home already
by belovedmind
Summary: Urie never thought any amount of pain would amount to that of his father's murder. Urie was wrong.


Urie Kuki knew his strength, and he knew what he was capable off. He worked harder, harder than any of the other pesky investigators in the CCG, and he didn't need anyone or anything. Not even her.

 _"That's right. Back then, what I really resented was my own powerless self. My tiny little self. And my tiny little heart. Too small to hold all that emotion, so it had to shift the blame onto someone else. But now, I'm grown. I'll hold it all."_

 _"But you don't need to hold it all in, not by yourself."_

Saori Akiyama, member of the S3 Squad, was compassionate. She always wore her heart on her sleeve, and fought for what she believed in. Urie believed that her compassion was her weakness, her hamartia. Saori disagreed. _"Everyone has got feelings, just like you and me. I would be more of a monster than the worst of the ghouls if I completely disregarded that."_

Right in that moment, Urie and Saori were sitting on the brown wooden benches of a local café. Urie had been long done with his cup of black coffee, meanwhile Saori was sipping on her iced matcha latte. Urie couldn't help but note how her lips had become more of a raspberry tone, and glistened.

"Congrats on being promoted to Rank 1 investigator. Guess we're equals now, huh?" The corner of Saori's lips turned upwards, and she put a lock of her platinum blonde hair behind her ear.

"Well, it won't be for long." There was something about Saori that made Urie unable to contain himself. Normally, he kept his cool demeanour, not cracking under any pressure. Maybe it's because of Saori's optimism, or her melodic voice, Urie couldn't contain himself. Stupid girl, doesn't even comprehend reality.

Saori took another sip of her drink whilst keeping her smile. "Well, we'll have to see, won't we, Urie-kun."

To Urie, the battlefield was his home, the place he thrived. To Saori, any operation that the CCG sent her on made her sick, sick to the stomach.

 _"How are you even an investigator, let alone a first rank, if killing makes you sick." Urie had asked her once, whilst the pair were training at the gym._

 _Saori was running on the treadmill, sweating. "Someone has to get the job done, and I try to make their deaths quick and kind. They are no different than I am, and I understand that they have to get a job, just as I do."_

* * *

The Tsukiyama Family Extermination Operation was in full swing. Casualties were occurring, anywhere, everywhere. Saori was not one to get injured, but this time, it wasn't the case.

Saori was in an empty hallway, sitting in a pool of blood. Her blood. Her crimson blood, that was glistening. It happened so quickly, she didn't understand. Why was this happening to her. Only moment earlier, Koori Ui had commanded that she leave her S2 squad members, and go aid the Quinx Squad, who had Haise Sasaki relocated to another job. Saori was ecstatic to see her friends, Shirazu, Saiko, Tooru, _Urie_.

Maybe she was too excited, because whilst moving closer to her friend, she didn't realise that SS rated ghoul, Noro, shoot something through the window. It happened so quickly, and she didn't realise until it was too late. The smashing of the glass was loud, and she felt stupid. _I guess I really am stupid, Urie._

The young girl, only nineteen, could help but to feel the pain. It was horrible, excrutiating. Tears were streaming down her face, and the gaping hole on the right side of her body hurt, it hurt more than anything she had ever felt. No heartbreak would hurt this much, Saori thought. _Guess I'll never know, since I never have experience heartbreak, or having my feelings acknowledged._

Soon after, her tears dried. Saori started to feel numb, and the pain was finally leaving. She began to think about her family, or rather lack of. Her friends, and how she hoped they'd be fine. Herself, and how she'd wished she helped more people, more ghouls before she died. _I hope whatever comes, it won't hurt. I don't want to feel hurt anymore. Not for me, and not for anyone else._

A loud scream brought back Saori's consciousness. It kept increasing, louder and louder.

"Saori!" The blonde recognised this voice, it was Urie's. Saori then felt a warm hand over her injury, and felt herself being picked up. Opening her hazel eyes, Saori looked up, to meet with Urie's dark gaze, his face morphed with emotion. _That's odd, normally nothing phases him._

Urie's trembling low voice vibrated through the still empty hall. "Saori, stay with me. Fuck, stay here, with me. You can't go, not yet, not now."

A sad smile contoured on Saori's lips, as she softly spoke. "Urie, please don't be sad. I don't want to be sad anymore."

"You can't die on me, you can't retreat!" Urie then began to yell, his voice cracking as he held the small, fragile blonde. "God damn it, Saori! You can't die, you can't die on me! We've got so much shit to do, this mission isn't over. Don't fucking die!" Urie's glassy eyes watched Saori, as her body began to grow limp. His voice cracked, as he spoke. "Please, Saori, don't die. You're okay, you're going to be fine."

Trying to gather as much energy as she could, Saori tried to hug Urie, before finishing. "Who cares about that, Urie. Let's just go home already."

Saori could see the tears streaming down Urie's angular eyes, and they just kept going. Saori knew they'd stop, that's the way life is. She didn't mean to retreat, but that's what ended up happening. Urie felt her heartbeat stop, and it was in that moment, he realised that he still felt pain. Pain that would never go away, and that pain was in the form of the once-happy, compassionate hazel eyes. Hazel eyes that would haunt him until the day that he would die.

* * *

 **Chapter notes**

hello! my name is sabina, and i hope you enjoy this little one-shot. i primarily utilise archive of our own (ao3) to update my stories, but i am posting some stories in bulk here just to back up my work. if you do like this, please do leave some love and a review, i'd really appreciate it! if you want to be completely up-to-date with my work in general, you can check out my profile on ao3, i have the same username (belovedmind).

until next time,  
s.


End file.
